Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Karmic Afflictions


Like the absence of rain
So are my days without pain


The sunlight casts over my shadow of gloom
I reach out for it’s essence as my body cries
While my immune system fights hard
To stop the war between good and evil
Controlling the population of the once breeding mutated cells

Feeling like I’m on a rotisserie going round in circles
While a burning flame roars fiercely through my nerves
My muscles feel tight as well
But they also feel like an elastic band being stretched throughout my body
And through my chest

Yet,
if there is no ‘I’

and existence isn’t the way we perceive it to be
Then why does this physical body of pain seem so real?
I feel it’s a raw deal
As I have always tried to cherish others
So why am I being punished?

I sit here in my house
With two windowless walls
I look up and see a wheel chair that was bought for my grandfather
Though through his stubbornness
He refused to use it
So in my lounge room it sits

I wonder was it subconsciously bought for me
Will my legs one day, give way?
To the growth in my spine
Though thankfully it is benign
So I have time to revaluate my life
And rid myself of the negative torments
That I have bestowed upon myself and others
In, not just this life time, but in other lifetimes as well
I mean, it could be worse
I could be a being in the realm of hell

So I will once again drag my weary body out of bed
And face another day
With great determination
That I will conquer this struggle
And know that this is only temporary
Though it feels very permanent
I have to train my mind to feel at ease
To rid myself of this dis-ease

And realise that I am not that different to many people out there
And acknowledging our bodies and minds are intertwined
And whatever we think
Will manifest physically
And believing that most of us are mentally un well
Makes me realise
That I’m not the only one that has to battle with ill health

AGE 27
completed 31/07/07

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