Open your heart quote

Simple Life quote

Real Love

Show you care quote

Help others and follow dreams quote

written 02/08/09

I FEEL WEIRD

I feel weird.

Try to find the words to explain, but... SILENCE... There are none.

There are feelings, but what are they?
Where are they coming from?
What do they mean?
Yet, what I feel doesn't really exist.
I feel nothing.
So what is real?

Which of my emotions are true?
Can I even use the word truth?
What does that even mean? Truth?

I am in the present, but am also absent.
Absent from what? I am not sure.

My mind, body, my surroundings or all of the above, who knows.
Although can I say these things are mine?
Do I own them? No. How can I, when everything is transitory?

With every blink, life changes.
How does it change?
How am I changing?
How can I work this out, when I don't know who I am?

WHO AM I???

What are my beliefs?
Where do my beliefs come from?
How much of it is from the inside?
How much of my conditioning to the world is from what I have been subjected to in my life and surroundings?
How much of what I think is from being bombarded by external conditions?

What are these changes going on within me?

It is like a rapid water fall.
Normally I would grab onto an overhanging branch and hold on tight, but instead, I will dismiss it and flow fast and free with the current.

It is exciting, yet peaceful.
Confusing, yet less clouded.
Tiring, yet rejuvenating.
Emotional, yet empty

The openness helps release anxiety.
I feel less fear.

My old skin is shedding, in preparation for the new.
How and who will I be tomorrow?
Who will I be in a few months, at the end of this year and in a year's time?

Will I finally find the HARMONY within?

I do know that the person I am at this moment, will be different within months to a year, that is One question I don't need to ask, as I am noticing changes from a monthly basis, which seems to have transpired to weekly.

So instead of analyzing everything little thing and trying to answer questions that I'm not even sure what I am asking, I shall continue to open myself to the ride down the waterfall and soak up the pleasant scenery with my inquisitive mind, but only taking in, what I feel is intuitively healthy for me and enjoy the times of peace and serenity and learn to develop more of that and less of the mental, emotional and physical discomfort.

My life has never been dull.
It has been an interesting journey and I know this next phase will, once again, not dissapoint
I will see where it takes me...


Age 28
Written 6/5/08

Melodic Desire Song

These are lyrics I wrote for a piano piece that my neighbour wrote.

When i first met him, he played me various pieces that he put together, including this one.
However, this piece, was one of his least favourites, but as soon as he played it, i found it really touched my heart and reminded me of my love for dancing and music. I knew exactly how i wanted to arrange this piece.
I wrote the Lyrics and assisted with the composition.
I wrote a poetry version prior to this, also called Melodic Desire, which you can read on the previous post.

You can listen to me singing the song by clicking on the mp3 file below.

Melodic Desire.mp3

I have such desire for you,
as I dance around the room.

Goosebumps appear as you kiss my skin,
My heart starts to race when we embrace,
I am mesmerised with your soulful tunes,
nothing makes me feel the way you do.

The more I fall under your spell,
I feel I could fly,
from this natural high.

My sorrows have ceased,
I'm in ecstasy,
I feel free when it's just you and me.

You are what I require,
My melodic desire,
don't ever leave me coz,
I don't know what I'd do,
If I couldn't dance with you.

You are my love that's true.

*age 27*
2007

melodic desire (poem)

alot of people have found it difficult to understand my obsession with dancing and clubbing, and after i failed to explain how i feel, i eventually wrote this poem.

I feel you flow through me
Bringing warmth to my soul
I feel every part of your essence
As you rush through my veins
And please every one of my senses

I am anxious and excited
To be in your presence
My body flows to your every sound

I feel the people around me

Start to form a crowd

My feet stomp to your base
While my mind drifts off to space
I explore every inch of the dance

I lift up my arms and embrace you
Objects around me start to disappear
It’s now just you, me and the dance floor

Beneath my feet


My pulse rate rises
The more I fall under your spell
The more I feel I could fly
Don’t ever leave me
For I know,
No other way to experience this natural high

My hair becomes wet and messy
Sweat drips from my face
My clothes are that drenched
It’s like I’ve been standing in the rain
But I don’t care
All my emotional pain has ceased
As I keep dancing without despair

I feel you rush through my body
I am instantly uplifted
You make feel so alive
This is something I never want to be deprived from

I am in ecstasy
As I you penetrate all of my senses
And fill every cell in my body

My soul you have possessed
With you I am completely obsessed


Goosebumps appear as you kiss my skin
I become fearless, untouchable, unstoppable
I know others are watching me
I am surrounded by smiles
But I don’t pay any attention
For I have escaped into my own piece of heaven

The energy that consumes me
Is overwhelming
It’s all around me
Everything seems so surreal
Things feel like they’re in slow motion
But at the same time fast paced

My heart continues to race
For I have fallen completely in love with you
Nothing has ever made me feel the way you do

Every movement releases any chains of stress
Bringing peace and harmony within myself
Clearing away any need to feel depressed


SUDDENLY… you stop!
It’s that time of the night I dread
My surroundings become more visible
Everyone has formed a close bond
But that oneness we all shared
Starts to fade away
As reality is fast approaching

We all start to stray
Drifting apart from one another
All of us becoming strangers again
Facing our own inner demons
And we’re back to being handcuffed
By the social network – SOCIETY

I feel you leave through the pores of my skin
NOOO! DON’T LEAVE ME!
The tears swell up in my eyes
I am now filled with emptiness inside
Until the next time we embrace
I’ll reminisce about the time we shared
I look forward to dancing with you again
And feel my body and mind escape

*age 27*

19/6/07

May you appreciate...

I was inspired to write this poem, after i witnessed something that i found very upsetting.I thought about the preciousness of life and the fragility of it. As i pondered over my many thoughts, i was admiring the beauty of nature, as i stood there and looked out over the 1000 acres of lush greenery, that surrounded me. And thought about how much we can learn from it...

may your days be filled with sunshine
and your nights with tw inkling stars
may you wake up everyday and value who you are.

may you have the chance to go out bush and find some tranquil time
to be away from the stresses of life and find peace within your mind
and to wake up to the soulful tunes of birds singing a happy song
and hear them call out to their relatives for them to merry-ly sing along

and may you have the chance to walk along the beach
while the ocean air cleanses your aura as the sand massages your feet
and as you stand there looking out to sea
with your skin being tickled by the gentle breeze
may you appreciate the abundant life and activity
that live beneath the ocean sheathe
and as you leave the beach may you feel refreshed and revived
after breathing in the fresh, cleansing air and you feel great to be alive

and may you appreciate the vibrant beauty of a flower as it blooms
and it's colours and smell radiate your senses and brings a smile when feeling gloom
and to enjoy the beauty of a dew drop as it drips upon a leaf
and glistens in the sunlight until it evaporates in the heat

and when going to bed at night feeling warm and cosy beneath the sheets
may you be thankful you're not living on the streets
and that you have no fear and are able to sleep

and may you give compassion to all living beings
whether an ant or human they all have feelings

to give love without wrong expectations is the true meaning of the word
and to live without judgements these are just some of our learning curves

and to acknowledge that desire is the key to all suffering
so before acting upon it think if there's anyone you'll be harming

and may you appreciate having intelligence and being physically and mentally able
to enjoy the beauty around us and to be living in a country that's relatively stable

and may you appreciate the warmth of a smile that appears on someone's face
either given or received is something that can never be taken or erased

so forget about the trivial things in life, for at any moment, can come death
it's as close as being on the other side of a wall
after the mere cessation of breath

and try not to be despondant about the negativities in life
and things that can't be changed
acknowledge the beauty within one's self and what mother nature has to offer
and by giving to the less fortunate helps to ease one's own pain

and may you always have a life that's filled with PEACE, LOVE, and meee (HARMONY)

written sep/06
age 26