The biggest mistake of my life

I sit here and listen to the rain
It reminds me of the sorrow of other people’s pain

The drugs we take to make us feel high
But coming down just made me cry

The feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin
I kept asking myself why
And the little voices screaming inside my head
All I wanted to do was die

I had no control over myself
But it had control over me
And seeing other people go through a similar thing
Was something I didn’t want to see

It got to a stage where I felt like I was fighting for my life
I knew I had to be mentally strong
To pull myself through
Otherwise by now, I could be long gone

All I could think about was my family
And how much I loved them
And that I wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye
I’ve achieved hardly anything out of this
Except emotional distress
I feel anti sociable and very depressed

Although it’s put a whole new perspective on life
As I value my life a lot more
You think nothing will happen to you
But I realized it can so easily
From what I experienced and what I saw

I realize now the level of which drugs can take you
They can take you to a happy place
But they can also take you to hell
Whichever way you can never tell
Until it’s happened

I did, however, learn one valuable lesson
And that is, drugs aren’t cool
And anyone who thinks they are
Are just silly fools!

*1999*
age 19